Heidi Clark on your Instagram page you say “Went from completely broken to shining bright” . Can you tell us about it? What is your story?
Heidi Clark: My story is pretty long that involves a lot of negativity. I didn’t just have 1 major incident happen, I had numerous things. The bulk of it was in my 20s. I joined the military when I was 19. From the very first meeting with my recruiter, the pressure on my weight began and I was taught very dangerous quick fixes to do in order to stay at a certain weight.
I became obsessed. So obsessed that I ended up in the hospital at one point. I needed to be successful. I needed to be perfect. Through this time too, I did 3 overseas tours with the military as a Correctional Officer. Physically, I suffered from injuries to my hips and I broke my back. Mentally, I witnessed things that no brain should ever have to process, along with then high levels of stress for a prolonged amount of time.
On a personal level during this time, I had went through sexual assault, left to be a single mother of 2 and I went through many toxic relationships to include one with an alcoholic. By the time, I got to my early 30s, I suffered from zero self esteem and self worth, severe PTSD, severe anxiety and depression and I would overload my schedule so I didn’t have to think about anything. I was hunting constantly for my happiness but couldn’t get out of the black hole I was in. Thinking about ending my life numerous times, but I couldn’t leave my children with no parent. I finally had 2 huge stressful events happen to me at one time, and it pushed me over the hill.
What was the turning point that made you decide to take charge of your life and control your own destiny?
Heidi Clark: After those 2 serious incidents happened, I fell into a deep depression, I would cry every single day for about 8 months. I was so scared that I didn’t see an outlet to get me out of this deep dark place. I remember going out to my car one day and just screaming to God that I didn’t want to live life like this anymore. Why all of these things had happened to me, I didn’t understand.
Looking back on this, I know now I needed that time in order to heal all of the things I had internalized. I hadn’t processed anything that had happened to me and I needed to release it. Through my journey of healing and rebuilding myself, I found my passion and now help other women, who cant find their own light and are hopeless when they think of living a happy an fulfilling life.
What challenges have you had to face head on?
Heidi Clark: I had to process everything that had happened to me. I had to grieve and feel every emotion that I had been running from. So many times I wanted to give up, because it was really hard. I had to rebuild my entire life. Being a single mom, with nothing to my name and no self confidence. I didn’t now who I truly was or even what I enjoyed to do. I was a empty shell of a women. My life didn’t change over night. I took baby steps. It has taken me over a year and a half to get to where I am today. I would push forward and then I would slip backwards but I didn’t give up.
What has helped you through the difficult times?
Heidi Clark: I was lucky and had someone there for me that I could cry to, that wouldn’t let me fall back into my victim mentality and who would help me push past the darkness when I wanted to give up. I also had to put tools into place every single day so I wouldn’t fall back into my negative thinking behaviors and habits.
What is your greatest fear, and how do you manage fear?
Heidi Clark: I used to be afraid of everything. Not being successful, the future, falling in love again, my past repeating itself but now I know that life is a crazy journey. There will be somethings that happen to us that we have no control over. When these things happen, we need to be aware of our emotions during the process, do the activities in which keep us calm, such as meditation, yoga, deep breathes so then we can handle the situation with a level head. I live in the present moment with a grateful heart and when you strive to live from a place of love, fear will disappear.
What programs have helped you take charge of your life?
Heidi Clark: I did a lot of research during this time. I studied stress, self care and negative thinking and I would practice every single day the things I was learning. I know journal isn’t necessarily a program but it was my most effective tool.
When was your last memorable learning curve?
Heidi Clark: I actually was just tested this last month. My son broke his foot and my daughter needed braces. To a single mom just these things alone can add a lot of extra stress because they are things that I didn’t plan for. On top of that, a tornado had hit my grandmas house and destroyed my dads job. I wont lie the tornado did add some overwhelm into my life because something like that has never happened to me before and I have never seen destruction like that.
However, I processed the emotions I needed to process, took some extra time out from my business for self care and proceeded on with a clear head to be able to be there for my family and make good decisions. That is a big improvement, especially coming from a girl, who couldn’t go into a gas station one day because there were too many cars in the parking lot and my anxiety wouldn’t allow me to.
Do you have any rituals/daily habits that are helping you?
Heidi Clark: My morning routine is essential. My negative thinking is so rooted that if I go even a few days without it, I will slip back into the black hole. I have to journal, meditate, stretch/workout, read some personal development/ devotional and have a healthy breakfast every single morning. If I have days full of chaos, I will had in extra meditations/ breathing exercises throughout the day so I can remain at a place of calm and be in the present moment. In emergency situations or if I feel panic coming on, I will do a exercise I call “Feel your Feet” I will divert all my mental focus on me feet and I will wiggle my toes, while I take deep breathes. This will get me out of my head at that moment and it will help me calm down.
What are your core values?
Heidi Clark: My core values are I believe God has a specific purpose for my life and its my mission to live up to that purpose each and every day. I believe in being trustworthy and honesty. I believe in a healthy balance of work and life but I will always put God and my self care first so I can be a good, patient mother and fill my clients up with love as I help them navigate through life.
10. What advice would you give to others who are struggling in their motivation to take command of their lives?
Life is a precious blessing. You are here to do amazing things that only you can do. You have a story to tell and there is someone out there right now who needs you to hear your story. Life is meant to be full of love, peace and happiness and you can have it too but you have to live your truth and only yours. You can do hard things and I promise you on the other side of this hill is where you will shine!
What advice do you give to people suffering from low self esteem?
Heidi Clark: You were given your personality, your beliefs, your interests for a specific reason. You are perfect just the way you are and you are beautiful. You can do things in this world that nobody else can do. Stand tall beautiful girl and shine bright.